Saturday, December 24, 2005
Is it twelve? It sure doesn't feel like Christmas. Months ago listening to christmas music during torturous studying felt more like christmas. Anyhow, of course, I bought the book. It's so thick and the pages so thin and the words so round and slender. I wonder why Unchained Melody is playing at this time. Christmas this year couldn't be more like normal days. Exactly one year ago this time I was on a plane flying through space watching before sunset over and over and now i wonder, WHY NO PARTY ON THE PLANE?!!?!?!?!!?!?! If only my parents would pop up with rainbow coloured balloons tomorrow morning, confetti and shout 'SURPRISE!', beaming with....nothing, really. Nothing I could want that they could possibly give me. Not even the beatles anthology. Why do they say 'And at Christmas you tell the truth', or 'It's Christmas, and I just wanted to check'? I was walking through takashimaya today and i finally got that feeling. The feeling that christmas has become one big moronic event. I was at art friend and the most pompous, sickening married man father was in front of me in the queue. He had the most sly-looking sharp wife, with kids that stared at me so blankly. He was sort of demanding they do his purchase first ahead of a guy with an afro buying a lot of pink supplies. He was on his phone, all 'yeah' and 'we shouldn't do that (something to do with stocks or something)' and 'out with the family' (OUT WITH THE FAMILY?!) and 'cheers'. Oh I could puke. He had this little black goatee that he probably thought was all masculine and sexy. I only regret not making any attempt to aggravate him when he was being unreasonable. Damn. That could have made this a great christmas. I was at the foodcourt and people were just rushing everywhere and the sweeper just stood there waiting for them to pass. And I can't believe my auntie bought presents for everyone else except her own children. That's so stupid!!!!!! Come to think of it I wonder what Paul McCartney's doing now. As i said goodbye to my grandmother, auntie, uncle and iz (i'm really going to miss him) as they went into their giant taxi to the airport, I realised how incredibly excited and alive travel (or the idea) makes me feel any time. 'From the moment I heard Frau, say I had a clone, I knew that I'd be safe cause I'd never be alone'
moled at 12/24/2005 08:02:00 AM
Friday, December 23, 2005
P.S. My auntie just swung round to give me christmas money and a present, that she said her whole family, as they walked past it, was convinced I would love to play with it. I find this very puzzling indeed since it turns out to be coloured dough with moulds for making snacks like cake, ice cream and biscuits.
moled at 12/23/2005 05:26:00 AM
'Whee,' whispered Dean very softly
On The Road is the most fantastic thing. I had to go sit on the toilet bowl and finish it in peace. I had to shut my eyes tight to imagine what they were doing. It's so sad you can't cry and so happy you can't whoop. Dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No backpacker's hostel job. My father (can I call him something else? What about brown egg) is completely against it. Communication is getting worse. Everytime something happens I feel like my heart is throbbing like a big heavy frog and is liable to give a great thud and cause my brain to explode minutely inwardly with blue and green chemicals. He almost bought me the entire Beatles anthology series for Christmas. Sounds awesome, I know, but the time and all wasn't right. It has to be something I earn MYSELF, and only bought when I am dying to watch it, or everything, oh EVERYTHING will be ruined.
Why isn't there a worldcast? I love the part in the book (on the road) when Sal is on the hitchhiking ride of his life, as he calls it. He is on the back of this big truck, driven by these 2 young brother farmers wearing blue overalls who are so jolly and pick up anyone and don't stop smiling. And there with him are a sly guy call Slim, an old man and a young man with the old man (hobos), 2 young boy farmers trying to find places to harvest and get work, and 2 excited boys from a university on an adventure with their university caps and blonde hair. They all talk, pee, drink beer, and look at the stars.
I hate communication most of the time. Nothing comes out right, I talk too much. But just now I said something very disjointed but tried to put the right meaning across and the person totally understood what I meant to ask. Understanding is hard to come by. Sometimes strangers get it best.
Tomorrow I will read another read of my life, THE ULTIMATE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY. The very AIM of tomorrow will be to buy that whole series in one book and start straight away. I have been waiting to read this for months. I read the first few pages already and it was so funny. This, like On The Road, is THE book. There are many the books. It was the virgin suicides, behind the scenes at the museum, catcher in the rye, on the road and now there's a new one. It's just everything there that sort of makes flakes of my mind. Cecilia found in the bathtub, the boys pretending each other were the Lisbon sisters, Albert's golden curls, Nell's war sweetheart, Ruby's falling down endlessly, HOLDEN, the roman candles and the burning stars and Sal Paradise and finally Dean Moriarty. It's like everything is falling like snowflakes in my mind when I think of it all. But tomorrow's read will be the wackiest of all. I am itching to feel that chunk of a blue-green-black-starry book and SMELL the cream yellow pages and see the chunky wholesome black font on all the nice pages and feel how insanely smooth the pages are. It sounds crazy but I mean every bit of it and I don't even know who I am telling all this to. It's like in Robbie William's Summer LIVE, when in the middle of one song he shouts 'Hello? HELLO?! Is there anybody out there?!!??!!?' like a cosmic howl to the rest of the universe.
moled at 12/23/2005 04:44:00 AM
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I got an interview at the backpackers' hostel!!!!!!!!!! YAHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! today's art: crocodile on cheek (my favourite ever), snowman on cheek, christmas tree on cheek. Desiree made us on the sims and a bunch of others from our class. thing is, we made conan and arika last week but they were teens and the game required them to have an adult so i came up with harris. THEN, the game needed the adult to be the parent of the teens, so........!!! today she made her, me, esmonde and sunil (children who will fight), shaun, liew (looks JUST like her it's disturbing), grace (baby wearing pink, crying and liew carries her), and retro auntie. Esmonde wears a red and yellow helicopter wing hat with pink flowery face paint while sunil is totally in a pirate's costume with 2 fierce streaks of black paint. the game is so advanced you can create facial features very very exactly so that is what we tried to do. We shall see what happens. Can't control 8 people at once so the computer instinct will do most of the work. Babies have high tendency to die. Made an ugly gaudy house for conan arika and their game-dad. They are very poor. I finished the entire frst season of scrubs. Been watching it for 2 weeks and it is completely a part of me now. 'JIZELBECK IS NOT A WORD' Anyone wants to watch a very close-up video of Paul McCartney singing Hey Jude? It is very strange and enticing. Snake-green eyes that never stop looking at the camera and thin lips and john lennon looks like a total rag in it. If i have twin boys i wonder if they will hold it against me if i call them john and paul. No I'll call one of them John Charlie and the other Oliver Paul. BLACKBIRD..............
moled at 12/20/2005 06:31:00 AM
Monday, December 19, 2005
TODAY'S ART:
CRAZY DAISY BOWL
Soulful OGRE
DOLL
I am hung up on papier mache, face-painting, On The Road, Scrubs, TV, movies, practising drums, swimming, dreaming of adventures. It's funny having so many of these THINGS at once. But I'd drop all of this to travel around the world madly right now.
moled at 12/19/2005 04:52:00 AM