Saturday, November 05, 2005
BLACKOUT!
I was bathing last night when the light started flickering and I thought dammit I'm not going to be in the toilet all dark and alone so I hurriedly washed all the soap off me and just as I reached to turn off the water the light went out. So I turned it off and screamed at my cousins (ALL of them) outside because I thought they did it to me because they were screaming too. But actually, the entire house had a blackout! It was crazy chaos. My grandmother came and all the kids were still shouting and she tried to shine the torch into the toilet and a bit of light came through the door and came onto the mirror and that was the last thing i wanted, to have some light so I could look at the mirror and see a red-eyed ghost. So I hardly dried myself, threw on my clothes (luckily i was wearing my beatles let it be t-shirt because we were going to be out of the house for at least an hour and i wasnt wearing a bra) and went out where everyone was armed with torchlights and running and jumping about. The whole house was dark and it was night. It was obviously very exciting. We went down the stairs with the torchlights and suddenly it didn't really feel like my house, and we all ran down hardly able to see a thing while i carried the baby. We went to the outside 'garage' (open air area next to garden) and sat down in a fairy circle tightly squeezed together and shone torches and seth (6 years old) was looking at the house, wide-eyed. I asked him if he was scared and he nodded. Ting han was about to tell a ghost story when natalie shouted and told him not to. My aunties were sitting around tiredly. uncle pepe and my grandmother were trying to see what the matter was. (parents were out) My brother kept saying 'wah lau' and finally bravely went upstairs with a torchlight and went out to a shop to buy himself ice cream. everyone else was sitting around or running around with torchlights or demanding torchlights and on the road where uncle pepe was asking the neighbour for help and he said 'ka pub. ka pub.' (which is call P.U.B. in hokkien) and my aunties started screaming for the kids not to go onto the road and suddenly the garage and garden looked like some sacred night ground. the house phone rang! and my grandmother demanded a torchlight from the jumping kids. my sister immediately jumped at the chance and offered to shine the light into the house for her to answer the phone. my grandmother got crazy and snatched the torchlight away from the baby who was jumping and restraining. all of us ran in with her and the baby started shouting 'i want totchlight!' and then suddenly we all ran out to jump around the garage. we crowded around this entrance with grills and saw how the living room had been lit with candles, totally gothic looking. it was just shocking. i told my brother it looks like 'the others' and ting han pestered my endlessly on what that is. natalie whispered that maybe a robber made our house blackout and is inside right now stealing things. then uncle pepe who had led some of them out onto the road to chat with neighbours suggested driving his station wagon into the house open air garage so the car lights could flood the house and light it up and we could sit inside. we all piled in (except my brother who stood eating chocolate ice cream and all the adults who sat around tiredly) and ting han and iz sat in front and played john mayer (?!) and everyone else was climbing around trying to sing or hum or not get kicked by each other. finally, my auntie said, let's go to Han's, so we did, and used their toilet to pee. it was breathless fun.
I've done everything i feel like doing before doing nothing but maths till thursday when all the maths papers are over. it's maths all the way now. last blast. i am so sure that aliens exist. uncle pepe told me yesterday that our solar system is just one puny solar system in the milky way, that the nearest star is 4 to 5 light years away, which is just unthinkably billions and billions of miles away (in one second, light can travel around the earth 7 times). and the milky way is just one galaxy in the entire universe, whereby one galaxy is just like a tiny speck of dust. isn't that just incredibly mindblowing. so there's the universe, and the milky way which is a speck of dust, and the solar system which is a puny bit of the milky way on its outskirts (i think) and earth is one small planet in this solar system and we are just tiny little beings on this planet, which means that ants are just so........PUNY!!!!!!!!! And humans are probably like a kazillion billion times of 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 x 10^-1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 of a part of the entire universe. Which means that there is almost a definite probability that other life forms exist. Like in another speck-of-dust galaxy in the universe BILLIONS of LIGHT YEARS away and on some small (or big) planet, surely something (at least something) else exists out there. WOW. now digest that as you attempt to memorise characteristics of a market structure. see how utterly and totally insignificant that is?! so please, everyone, as I am trying myself too, GET A GRIP!
moled at 11/05/2005 11:26:00 PM
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
I just saw the harry potter trailer and I think i might just float up like a shred of cotton candy now!!!!!!!! After the whole incredible trailer, at the end, the screen went black as usual and they flashed 'harry potter and the goblet of fire', 'coming 17 november' with all that pounding music (at least all this is what i THINK happened, i was all confused and excited) and then they flashed the twins (james and oliver phelps) under this dark yellow golden light with their light yellow golden hair and shining eyes and one of them went 'Wicked.' Which makes for just about the best trailer moment of all trailers i've ever watched. this movie is going to be fantastic. when i watch the trailer i can barely breathe or jump madly, i don't know what's going to happen when i watch the movie. i don't think i could marry someone who doesn't like harry potter.
Weaver mother :'I'm sick of doing things I can't do......YO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
(the one bad thing she has ever said. but she only went a bit mad because everyone was against them, they got yielded and she very calmly said 'it's okay, let's forget it' to her kids but later went ratty) I just don't get why everyone is against them. May they win and everyone feel obliged to cheer for them at the finish line just so they won't look like wet blanket spoilsport pricks on national television.
My sister is very puzzling. today i finally got the 2 of them (cousin iz and sister xn) to do something other than read archie comics and watch cartoons and drama serials. I put on 'i am sam' during lunch but they didn't like it, even though the other crazed 11 year old cousin (the one im most like) half watched it with his arm around me and cried quite a lot. Finally they painted. iz did a yellow sunny sunflower with a totally blue sky background. my sister first painted a half-house (half a house) in golden and silver and then a sad face combined with a happy face underneath that, next to the bizarre half-house. it's supposed to represent happy and sad times at home. next, on a new piece of drawing block, she painted a LEAF. and called it 'a leafy experience!' very strange indeed. it's so nice watching them paint away. iz squished white paint all over himself. anyhow after that we pasted the paintings and those i did before on the wall outside my room and she got us all to label the pictures so it looks like a mini art exhibition. and we are going to fill the entire wall with paintings by the end of the year with the help of the other cousins and OBVIOUSLY, all the adults are going to gush and go 'so clever! so nice!'. whoopee. why couldn't they think of that themselves instead of letting their children rot their time away?
TIME magazine this month is about poverty and disease in africa with an article by bono about how saving the world of poverty and disease is this generation's leap to the moon and it is definitely possible with all the science and everyone can help and should help. the g8 thing got billions of dollars out of the countries and cancelled debts and an african child dies of respiratory complications every 18 or 29 seconds and a woman dies of pregnancy every minute. and a boy had to carry his dead mother and we are studying for the a levels and people are sitting in the breezy vjc treehouse. Read it, reader! does anyone know how measly folk like us can help?
moled at 11/02/2005 06:13:00 AM
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Why are there so many Johns in the world?
John Lennon, John Mayer, John Lofthouse, John Cook, John Dorian, Johnny Depp, John Bean, John Ondrasik.
I am DYING to take a rollercoaster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I read in readers digest about this ancient rollercoaster that works on gravity and not electricity in vancouver, canada and its so preserved and great and awesome. and people get married on it, and it has surprises, turns, different angles, basically all relating to the ART of rollercoasters. And there is an american association of rollercoaster riders who love rollercoasters and go on sacred pilgrimage rollercoaster rides around the world. I could be the photographer for that association and that could be my life's job, taking photographs of people at rollercoaster rides. PLEASE let me have a dream of taking a rollercoaster tonight so at least I can feeeeel it in my sleep. My dreams have not been satisfactory recently. They're supposed to be a release from 'the moronic constraints of everyday life'. I bet it's all in the mind. If I work my mind into a race everyday, I will have lots of activity going on in my brain and that is what causes more dreams. If you are inactive as a pile of turd, you will not have many dreams.
WILLY WONKA WON last night on project runway. The people there have such crazy names. Austin Scarlett (willy wonka), Wendy Pepper. Austin Scarlett looks/sounds like a blood-sucking vampire. He wears pink shirts with black and white polkadotted ties and neat brown pants, and has a flip of a curl of a blonde fringe that looks very classic. He is willy wonka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It feels as if when the a levels end, our lives are going to be totally different yet nothing will have changed. I am going to watch lots of movies, read lots of books, swim, get red hair, do crosswords, paint my room, paint my body, go to the zoo, practise the drums, language lessons, bring my cousins to eat ben and jerrys and teach them how to play monopoly and spend endless hours rewatching dumb and dumber, richie rich, dennis the menace, the parent trap and home alone. I don't know how much everyone hangs around their friends but I seem to be quite alone everyday but being fine with it, self-sufficient. I can go days without speaking much to anyone anymore and I am gaining increasing pleasure and frustration from snapping at my family and ranting during lunch only to have them laugh at me saying, 'look at her, talking so fast'. my prelims study-mate-best-friend (plump cynical 11 year old boy cousin) isn't even around anymore. just my cranky 9-year-old sister who reads archie comics everyday and watches cartoons and chinese drama serials who loves serving me food and who has hair that is tangled and crazy and curly. the worst thing is when she replays the same piano and recorder songs everyday. She is sure to do it everyday. it isn't even a nice song. it really gets on my nerves. the same song for MONTHS.
Scrubs is one of the best shows ever! it's the kind of thing where its either really your kind of humour or it isn't.
Elliot (crazy doctor), feeling lonely and miserable insists to the evil chief doctor that she isn't feeling upset. He says he only wanted a nice, fake reply to his ‘how do you do?’ and not my-depressing-life-in-3-minutes. He walks away leaving her stung. Fat patient sits up from bed and operatically sings 'all by myself, don't wanna be...all by MYSELFFFF'
Elliot: (turns around with a sharp irritated look) oh shut up.
Molly (resident bubbly dreamy hippy psychologist): (appears) Did you just tell my patient to shut up? That doesn't sound very doctorey.
Elliot: Oh, did I? I was only joking. I said it the way high school girls say it in the mall, like, "oh, shut UP!" anyway, i gotta go. (leaves with a flip)
tuesday 12 19am now. I deviced a method of relieving stress just now. Get a small piece of that kind of white blank sticker you can write on. Look at the clock. Write the time nice and big on the sticker. Stick it on your wrist, so the next time anyone goes 'what's the time?' (which is one of the most irritating questions ever) just look at your wrist and tell them. or if you are just curious or performing a reflex action. no pressure. you know it before you even read it.
Goodnight, whoever's reading. I have no idea who you might be. Maybe next time if you see me you could try winking so I might get an idea. I mean it!
moled at 11/01/2005 06:12:00 PM
Sunday, October 30, 2005
When bored say: Talk to me
I love bathing. It's one of the few "life's pleasures" i let myself have these days. it's being in this small enclosed shaded space with water that is steaming hot or cold and crazy, with all this soap and bubbles that makes me feel so clean and it all smells sublime where i DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT WORK and i can think about anything and anyone and everything in the world. the moment i walk out, my heart kind of droops. this affinity with water must be to do with the fact that cancer is a water sign. My cousin actually knows what planets are. He's 6 and he loves fighting more than anything in the world. The 3 year old one (baby) was making me stroke and tickle her toe while she drank her milk bottle and she smiled and said 'very nass'. (yesterday i also realised that baby suggs is called baby because that's what her husband called her. perplexing) I just love babies and kids. today i was clamping my teeth and roaring at lynn's tiny nephew and desiree who was carrying him put him really close to my face and he just smelt so good. he smelt of drool and comfort and warm blankets and love. that day the baby's nanny auntie was teaching her to say a prayer as she lay on my grandmother's bed. she told the baby to close her eyes and put her hands together and repeat after her. 'thank you lord for this nice day. thank you for my family and my auntie. love you! amen.' the baby half-closed her eyes and tried repeating whatever she could pronounce and at the end she laughed a little. the part that got me was 'nice day' because what is a nice day? a nice day is a day that you get to be around the people you love and have food to eat and luxuries and have fun, and not suffering and being sad like people in other parts of the world. i realised that was something like what a nice day was. and i think of everything i've ever got to do and i feel so undeserving of so many things. i went to the highest peak in europe when it was snowing and minus ten degrees, but what does it mean to someone like me right now? (me who absurdly is a student in singapore and i went to this peak in europe because my father took me and it doesn't fit at all when so many people in europe are too poor to take a train up there) i have so much money to buy all the clothes i want but that isn't really what i want, it isn't what i want at all. and all this just puts everything in a strange perspective. what does studying measure for measure mean in this world where crazy things are going on? i think it might mean as much as flicking a puny little piece of mucus into the pacific ocean. maybe everything as i see it tonight (maybe even just tonight) is like john mayer's song 'no such thing' which doesn't even make sense itself. 'welcome to the real world she said to me condescendingly. take a seat, take your life, plot it out in black and white. i never lived the dreams of the prom kings and the drama queens, i'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve. they love to tell you, stay inside the lines, but something's better on the other side. i wanna run through the halls of my high school, i wanna scream at the top of my lungs, i just found out there's no such thing as a real world, just a lie you've got to rise above' see?!?!?!! it doesn't even make sense! what is going on????????????????????????????????????????
moled at 10/30/2005 07:29:00 AM
