Wednesday, September 14, 2005
I woke up to a most glorious day.
Father: It's 7.15. Want to wake up?
Me and my frozen back: .........What day is it?..............
Father: Thursday, and there's LOST tonight.
WAHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
moled at 9/14/2005 07:18:00 PM
Google has invented something horrifying. It's called a google blog search. Ew. I searched beatles and found a beatles picture site. i searched my name and found a lot of chinese sites, a lot of people gushing about a chinese show which is my name, and some mountain with my name, and some tsd people talking about public performance in july. it was too disgusting to continue! too disturbing! i'll never ever search my name in google! or my friends! i'll just search 'i love john lennon' or 'i love the beatles' or 'she loves you yeah yeah yeah' or 'lush'.
Today I did 7 essays. 3 for literature and 4 for TSD. So that's the end for now for chaucer, measure for measure, the country wife, the iceman cometh, mother courage and m. butterfly. Whew. Trying to write good essays about all this incredible books and plays in a day is like being a charlatan. One thing I hate about lit now is that it's hard not to be a charlatan. Doing lit is something to take on obsessively and insanely or not at all.
Anyway it is very strange sitting for 3 hours straight doing 4 essays. It's like being in a state of mind whereby you are in a sort of private bubble. I couldn't help but see Mr. L and Mrs. L mark scripts right in front of me. Mr. L was inherently fascinated by a fat blue stapler and kept pretending it was a crawling snail. Esmonde offered Mr. L tissue who then blew his nose like a trumpet. The private bubble state is one to be despised. It's terrible to test a person's intellect by making sit for a timed exam. It's a sick feeling to know that by the end of this exam I'd have written 21 essays, out of which maybe 7 are good, because of time limits and because we can't bring books into the exam. It's too, too stupid to test people on their opinions and analysis of a book or play by requiring memorisation.
Watching the chinese workers next door build a house has got to be one of the most fascinating things I have observed. The ol' pair doesn't seem to be around any more boo hoo they are gone forever, to be replaced by many new people out of whom I only recognise 2 faces. One of them wears a white but dirtied hat, looks like a handsome food court uncle in plaza singapura and sings and smiles a lot, in total contrast to almost everyone else! He was squatting on the roof connecting the first and second level, which is right outside my window, while mister moustache (his friend) downstairs was passing rook tiles to him by THROWING THEM UPWARDS about 1-2 metres in the air, and mister handsome singer caught them everytime!!!!!! Incredible! And it went on till mister handsome singer finished tiling the roof. They speak very loudly in chinese with thick chinese accents that go all over. I wonder if they're hungry. They have lunch at about 1 and leave the place about 6 or 7, and I once saw them drink water from the hose. We're worlds apart. They are outside building a house they will never afford, from another country, working for a measley pay, it must be painful lonely and hard. I sit in this colourful room of my own design, playing at a computer which they don't know how to use, in air-con, and my life is going to be a total deviation from what theirs is now. Yet can we be that different? I mean that I wonder if we could ever be friends even though we're so different. The ol' pair is never coming back. I knew one day they'd be gone forever. I sort of miss watching them build the house. I feel as if I know them even though I obviously don't at all. What if one day when you died, you found yourself in a room with all the people you wanted to make friends with, but never got the chance to? It could be like the chinese workers next door, someone on a train, someone who smiled at you when you were on holiday somewhere. Oh boy.
'We're not so different, you and I.'
Austin Powers to Dr. Evil
moled at 9/14/2005 03:59:00 AM
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Red sparks and milky smoke
The Bakkhai is incredibly sensuous and insanely alive. It's dripping with maple syrup and exploding with green electricity or something. I wish I could watch it in a great big open aired lush garden!! I love the word anthropology. I think that is 5% of the reason why i want to take it. It's such a wholesome word that gives me such a good feeling about it. I think that's a valid very very partial reason to want to take it. I went on an amazon.com search at all the dvds I want to buy and it's driving me crazy!!!!!! Life Aquatic, Millions, I love Huckabees, Scrubs, Gilmore Girls, LOST, Malcolm in the middle, Lolita, Lord of the flies. After the a levels, I am going to TRAVEL with the portable dvd player so i can watch movies all the time. I sat for 3 straight hours doing maths just now, the most mechanically satsifying mentally stimulating activity. Just pressing the calculator vigorously, muttering formulas, scribbling with a pencil, nothing to get that mind going like good ol' mathematics.
Oh yes, the dreams! 8 nights already. Can't quite remember last nights, dammit it was important!! The thing is, the exams start tomorrow. So maybe, the dreams are going to stop! I don't mind if they do, because it can be quite unpleasant waking up for a major exam to have a head-pounding dream still in your head. So if they stop, it would mean that my renewed social contact and actually being out of the house has replaced my need for excitement that manifests itself in the thrilling and twisted dreams I've been having. If not, then maybe they will stop after the exams are over, meaning that it was studying and studying that gave me dreams I remembered. YES to make it even more confusing, everyone actually dreams every night, it's whether you REMEMBER EXPERIENCING the dream.
After the A levels I am going to paint my room walls and doorway with anything I want. The house is going to be torn down soon anyway. I must fill the walls with words before it does. And I've been killing ants. That's the thing I do most besides study, which is because I do it while studying. I kill every ant I see. Even after trying to let one go, I end up killing it. It's turning into an obsession. I pity those ants. Oops, I just smacked one on my knee with great unnecessary but highly satisfying force that went smack! So I am going to have a save-ants day after the a levels, a day where I lure the thousands of ants (in my room) out with a lovely sweet and then I will find some way to put them in a huge SEALED container and supply them with sweets!!!!!! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee in their puny minds that will simply be paradise. Poor little ants. But for now I guess I am still killing them. What a week this is going to be.
moled at 9/11/2005 03:25:00 AM
