Vengeance Is Mine Inc.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Oh, poo. I haven't done any work in 1.5 days and i can't comprehend how the people around me are able to, at all. i just keep daydreaming, or lying around, sms-ing people excitedly and getting no replies, and daydreaming some more. except when i daydream i get to speaking to myself and when a family member opens the door it is rather embarrassing. oh, holidays, what a damn dilemna. for the first time in my life, i don't really feel that i would care very much if i didn't study and just took the test with the thrill of not stuyding. this complaining and rambling is probably annoying but i honestly find it very strange that they are able to study, so strange i cannot quite express it.

i swam today!!!!!!!! i hate old men being in the pool! i am quite sure they are all perverts who sneeze mucus and spit into the pool after each lap and then splash it away. i never swim near them, i never let them swim behind me, i try to overtake them should i be swimming next to them and i don't let them know i am observing them when they are doing their nauseating splashing away their nostril and mouth secretions. i was alone so i played with myself in the pool. it was fun and yet not. it cleared my head like never before in the past few months. being alone is being FREE.

I am going quite mad and missing the most random of people (the kind you have random conversations with) hence it is not very possible to just pop up with a hello and even though yes I was the one who thought studying would be a lovely change after that whole inevitable obsession with the tsd a-levels but now it is the most cruel, inhumane, painful, unnatural thing to inflict upon myself. and yet i will. Oh cruel mother earth!!!!! it is not your fault. it is the fault of halitosis right before sex, damn that funny thing.

Oh yes! My exam went very finely i thought! probably the best (and second) full run i could have wished for. i didn't catch the car keys which fell flat with a hard jingle but everything else was just...smoothly satisfyingly great. before the thing started, i sat there meditating in front of the beautiful set they had all constructed 2 hours before (SGT PEPPERS) in my daisies and then bob (dicky moonbeam, in his tight multi-coloured woven sleeveless shirt, long hair, daisy on his cheek and blue shades) did the pagan prayer we did before the prelims, he went something like, oh mother earth, release your pent-up energy and bless us, let everyone remember their cues and for me to do dicky moonbeam and for mary lolita to remember her lines and show us a convincing hippy dream and fill the place with the spirit of the 60s. and we all put our hands in the middle and said things like 'peace' or 'free love', 'free sex' (makoto) and went 'oh....hippy!' then i meditated some more and makoto started saying his favourite beatles song is norwegian wood (so queer) and rowell said maxwell silver hammer and i said she loves you and darrel said sgt. pepper and no one else said anything. the rest were behind the lights/sound board or at the psychedelic lights and meredith in the costume room. then before i knew it bob was already outside doing his introduction and i heard some giggles. then they came in like a herd of lost animals (pym is a lost giraffe bumbling in the dark) and more giggles and bob went 'may we begin?' and pympy said 'yes' and bob said with such vigour 'Have a spliff! -suck- -blow-' and a little more giggles and pympy smiled to himself. at this point i was frozen with my right hand doing the peace sign. and then, the electrifying guitar solo of sgt. pepper played, ooh boy. after that song i did the monologue and felt almost content with it for the first time and walked to the 80s area, heard john lennon's death, took off face paint, put on makeup and heard Imagine drifting along the dark air. then i switched it off, got up, walked to the 90s area, didn't catch the car keys, got briefcase, pinned a badge, used pda, took off peace sign, looked at sgt peppers one last time and left the room with a cruel sigh. i think i loved every moment of that, and every moment of the past few weeks being so painfully obsessed with it like nothing i've ever been obsessed with before and thinking so much and i love that it was not just all dreamy and happy all the way but absolutely torturous too, I LOVE IT.

I hi hi hi hi hi hi, DIG A PONY
Well you can celebrate anything you want, yes,
you can celebrate anything you want
Ooh

I hi hi hi hi hi hi, do a roadhog
Well, you can penetrate any place you go, yes,
you can penetrate any place you go

I told you so
All I want is you
Everything has got to be
just like you want it to
Because

JOHN PAUL GEORGE AND RINGO

moled at 6/16/2005 06:28:00 AM

be a goldmember.
i can see into your past, madame mary.

HELLO, STRANGER! Zach Braff