Vengeance Is Mine Inc.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

HEY, OLD SCHOOL!

I watched Rushmore!!!!! Elite Rushmore academy where the hero Max Fischer attends. The movie (which I KNEW would be great which is why I ordered it from amazon) is about him, obsessed with Rushmore, a very very queer boy who has big brown spectacles, braces, is the president/founder/captain of the french club, beekeeper's society, debates, track, coin and stamp collecting society, fencing and many more, writes many plays and directs them, who falls in love with a first-grade teacher in the school named Miss Cross and becomes good friends with another odd man who falls in love with Miss Cross. He organised a petition for latin to remain a compulsory language to study when Miss Cross said she likes latin, and wanted to erect an aquarium in her honour. It is a queer movie set in a boy's school. The main thing is, it is a movie by the creators of The Royal Tenenbaums. It's as strange and intriguing as that with delicate little details and queer people and lovely and sad things. The creators of the royal tenenbaums are Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson. Owen Wilson is Luke Wilson's older brother. The 3 of them make movies together. After that I obsessively read about all of them. Owen Wilson and Luke Wilson are best friends and have spent almost their entire lives with each other and their older brother Andrew and their father used to tell them to make other friends because when their together they are like the lowest common denominator. Owen Wilson was expelled from school and is a troublemaker. He and Wes Anderson were practically each others' only friends at university. Owen Wilson said, 'The day i discovered i could make a living making movies, it was the happiest day of my life.'

Last night I had the worst dinner in all my life. We went to a seafood restaurant with my mother's side for her mother's birthday and it was a contrived dinner. The adults SHOUTED small talk over all the noise (income tax, their children), the aunties and grandmother said my brother is handsome and said nothing about me (which tells you what they think), the children were squealing and running around, the waitress looked like she was trying to be seductive but ended up looking horrible, the manager looked like humpty dumpty with strands of bald hair, the food took ages, food wasn't that great, my brother and I were slowly but surely dying and at some point I couldn't take it and went out to some quiet windy corner and sat down to paint my nails INK BLUE (couldn't find electric blue, but ink blue reminds me of typewriters and harry potter and old school) and fanned my hands around and got attacked by a giant moth and went back and without washing my hands hovered my hands over all the food and all the relatives started saying the nails were lovely and i had to laugh along and my brother was about to explode with irritation and anger and got a huge headache and i wanted to slaughter the children and had to resist the urge to destroy my parents' vision of it being a great, wholesome family-bonding dinner (the opposite it was) because it would greatly hurt my mother and the best moment was when i whimsically picked up the plastic packet with the wet paper towel inside it and proceeded to pop it the way rude people usually do, except i did it too well and it sounded like a huge explosion and the restaurant went quite quiet for a split second and people turned to look at the slightly embarrassed relatives of mine then i roared with the vicious laughter of revenge masking it under a playful laugh.

And when I came home I played with my father's side cousins and let the baby listen to sesame street while she laughed and she kept holding the telephone saying 'Hello?....Bye bye!' and when she was going to leave she refused to give me a kiss and gave me a flying kiss but it was aimed in the wrong direction so it wasn't counted. In other words, she didn't give me a kiss at all, which is so upsetting! When I see my cousins running around, they are like tiny human beings. I want tiny human beings so bad.

The nails on my left hand look like diluted fountain pen ink, or a diluted sea. The ones on the right look like dark thick ink that would suit a curly delicate handwriting, or a murky, deep blue black sea. Little crocky has company.

Yee Han says she is wearing her uniform almost everywhere she goes, because it is the last year of our lives to wear a uniform. Somehow this is what me in the past would have done, but not now. It feels madly restricting to always wear uniform but choosing clothes sometimes is irritating and everyone should just dress madly rather than 'properly'. Say a girl goes out. She would probably wear a lovely little normal skirt, with a lovely little normal top, with a lovely little handbag or something, with lovely little heels that fit to her lovely little feet and at this point you just want to puke at the word lovely. Why doesn't she wear a big crazy green skirt and a boy's singlet that looks odd on her and carry an african pouch and wear greek-like sandals with beads and the whole combination is crazy but somehow goes. Too lovely is not even lovely at all. I can't help obsessively resenting proper dressing.

Yesterday as we drove out of the little lane that constitutes my 'estate', the most intriguing chinese worker that works next door was walking into the lane with supplies and my father waved to him (the way drives wave to one another-just sticking up their hand for one second) and he smiled back-a huge smile! he looked like a boy with shining teeth! I can't believe papa knows him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amazon is amazing. just click a few times and in some days or weeks things will appear at your doorstep!!!!! One night i lay so still half-awake in the middle of the night awaken by mosquito buzzes that i think i could feel a mosquito landing softly on my cheek sucking the blood back and forth, back and forth. I want to stay up in the night and watch movies, write, work, eat. EAT, especially. Eating at 3 or 4am must be crazy. Sitting in the kitchen munching on bread and staring into space in total silence.

I didn't see a single cloud today!

moled at 4/24/2005 03:41:00 AM

be a goldmember.
i can see into your past, madame mary.

HELLO, STRANGER! Zach Braff