Vengeance Is Mine Inc.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

The Hissing Of Summer Lawns

The beam at partly supports the neighbour's renovating house's illegal third storey is robin-egg blue. Oh, and I didn't realize but the clouds are amazing again today. I was analyzing The Bee Meeting when I had this strong feeling that I hate analyzing poems or prose. I know after a while I will delude myself into thinking that I don't mind it, but I think I really do hate it. It's too sickening to think hard about what this would symbolize, what this poetic technique is, how this evokes this in the reader and it's all just trying too hard and being too moronic and I want to just be the reader!!!!!!!! And read everything without thinking about style or language and I hate taking something to deliberately think about, write about and I just want to read books like The Virgin Suicides and love it madly and not think of anything else.

I visited this man's website on easy rider. If he is someone who enjoyed easy rider it is highly likely that his website will be a primitive, ugly site, which it was. He had a section on his thoughts about easy rider and he said that the effect the movie had on him was life-changing. He had a poster on his bedroom wall and would look at it dreaming everyday. His friend wanted to be captain america and so that left him to be billy and he said that was fine because they 'didn't really give a shit about anything'. so they finally got their own bikes and started travelling looking for their own adventures. they didn't go to mardi gras though they did dream of it, they made a lot of friends and went to many places and it was the time of his life. they came back home, got jobs, got married and had their own families. he said he hasn't seen his friend in years but he hopes he still remembers their 'glory days' which made him very happy. now i am thinking how to make my ds clean, sharp, powerful.

The 2 boys who sang xiao fei xiang in haiwaiian shirts at musicfest were amazing, one of the most heartfelt, innocent and lovely things i've ever watched. I could picture them in an MTV or a movie where there is a girl they long for but they are too nerdy for her liking but they are still so stupidly hopeful.

Once when I was daydreaming/thinking I realized that I might be at the prime of my life, the most energetic, creative and free a person could be, not being an 'adult' but a 'teenager' and all. It's like how Mister L said if you don't have oomph at seventeen or eighteen you never will, which is disturbing and probably true. And then I thought of how I haven't really done much with my life! I am not extremely good at any sport though I love swimming. I bought a drumset and I'm always fascinated by percussion but never do anything about it, I always wanted to learn French or Italian but never got to it. The only things I have done which satisfy me is that I watch lots of movies and television (which are VERY good things to do) and daydream and think a lot and try to know as much as I can about the sixties, beatles, hippies and try to do everything I can for my ds. I wonder where all my oomph went to. It's absolutely nothing to do with comparing with others and seeing how much they have done or anything but very...personal. By now I would expect myself to be really good at swimming, percussion and French or Italian. It's like all the oomph dies the moment I wake up and know that I have to go to school and finish the cycle of work. And going to school and seeing some people like dead fish skulking around their usual schooling, toilet habits, eating habits, usual behaviour and don't have oomph and are studying when they could be putting their electric energy to better use like being a scuba-diving instructor or experiencing what it's like to be a really zooming sprinter or learning dozens of languages or flying a plane or inventing something!

Fizzy whizz bangs! Oomph is all we need for the electric punch in our lives.

moled at 4/10/2005 01:28:00 AM

be a goldmember.
i can see into your past, madame mary.

HELLO, STRANGER! Zach Braff