Tuesday, December 14, 2004
I have sent all my christmas cards!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!
I have thrown my santa letter away into a dustbin near my house. i folded it tightly, put it in brown paper and twisted the paper lots of times and then put flowers (some yellow ones from near vjc entrance, some ant-filled ones from my garden) and on top of it, stood there for a few seconds and threw it in!
Leaving soon, leaving soon. In about twenty minutes we will be on cabs. My luggage is quite empty, I brought a few shirts though the adults say I don't need it at all, cargo pants, colourful pants, skirt, red and white socks, more and more socks, super small black gloves, polkadot scarf, red sweater, vitamin c, cranberry shower gel, diary, a few books like pride and prejudice and catcher in the rye and through the looking glass, my turquoise ring, drumsticks, beatles bag, lots of underwear, some bras, diary of course, pencil box, address book, and I have on me my mustard nails. whoopee!!!!
also, when i asked my father earlier, he said he smoked before, at some important army officer ceremony where they were given cigars, and he sort of said i could ('just don't get addicted'). and he said that my grandfather smoked behind the entire family's back after his stomach cancer operation. he did it in office, and didn't tell anyone!!!!!!!! and only after he died did my father find out. thrilling. oh, little johnny is also coming with me. we're going to change our names for the trip. i will be lulu/dolores. suhern will be henderson/george/bush and xining will be fifi (OBVIOUSLY).
how exciting, they keep saying that it is very easy to get robbed in italy!!!!!! they are very skilled and all. thrilling. i hope i get robbed of a small amount of money along the way, somehow, with no sentimental things lost. super excited about the 14-hour plane ride. byebye, room.
happy holidays.
moled at 12/14/2004 04:21:00 AM
Monday, December 13, 2004
Moron of morons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't find my overdue library book which i MUST return today, and actually, have no time to return and my cousin and sister keep coming into MYYYYYYYY room, treating it like a happy little fluffy playroom, just when they're bored, or upset, they prance in and hohoho! they're in a bad/moronic/nothing-to-do mood! so SCRAM!!!!!! and i have only packed halfway and haven't said my goodbyes to grandmother and brother, sadly both of whom are currenly irritating me. why the HELL did 'dog cheats to win' win the america's funniest home videos grand prize of 100,000!??!?! what IS 'dog cheats to win'?!?!?!?!!! and i had a major dream last night with luke, mango and shaun in it about really fast cars on rollercoasters, hostels, a couple and some mad university students, pizza and the sims! plane flying in twelve and a half hours, and leaving the house for the airport in nine and a half hours.
moled at 12/13/2004 07:13:00 PM
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Luke can see her face
My father found a white towel with grass and brown gnome prints in the basket of the master toilet of castle green, someone must have left it there after bathing and i forgot to take it. Thus I smelt and smelt it trying to guess who it is, but it isn't really possible. I think the towel already smelt that way before whoever it was even took it to clean their wet, naked bodies. BODY, i mean. my gut feeling tells me it is desiree.
Gwyneth paltrow is on style star tonight at 11pm. it is certainly as good as 'inside the actor's studio', both cover different aspects. it's intriguing, fashion is. the colours, the fabric, type, style. for example, a white stiff vest with a long-sleeved cotton shirt looks officey and classy and vintage perhaps, and will give a different feeling with different people and different colours. black means business or formality, dusty pink like angela's gives it a softer, more feminine feel. and a SKIRT, the skirt length could be below the butt, 1/4 way to the knees, 1/2, 3/4, above the knees, at the knees, below the knees, super-long. it could be translucent like a nymph, very thick like a tramp, with happy flower prints, or black gothic lace. (i'm beginning to feel like paul pennyfeather.) casual dresses must be really light and lovely because they rub against your bellybutton. carol keeps exclaiming that i have an extremely odd bellybutton, she says it is huge and very deep.
I never felt the impulse to send christmas cards till this morning. I went bathing just now and used my mother's tropical sugar cane body scrub exfoliating thing and i began to scrub and scrub and i felt so clean and i scrubbed so long till all the water evaporated from me, and so i sat there, dry, and covered with walnut shell bits the size of fullstops, and it was absolutely quiet except for the water i leave on for want of some sort of sound. yesterday i tore down horrid news cuttings i pasted on my wall, and obsessively tore magazine pictures and pasted them so it is now warm and good and kind. there is one of robotic-looking women with golden shiny curls plastered to their heads, lying around, and in a swimming pool, like dying fish.
when people come back from church camps or experiences that they find amazing and life-changing, they say that they feel filled. this idea of FILLING is intriguing, because i don't feel quite filled at all!!!!!!! i feel negatively filled, unfilled, badly filled, oddly filled, just not really filled. i think i shall on the plane. outer space and clouds would make me feel very, very filled. taking john bean on a holiday like a mother does too, except i leave him in my bag a lot, so now i shall just create another part of his personality and say that he has x-ray vision so he can still enjoy everything even though he is in the bag, but definitely not x-ray vision to see through clothes. john bean is only a pervert when i say so.
in the midst of growing a shaggy mop, i have actually given myself a kind of beatles hairstyle. what a pleasant surprise! i just love how boyishly long but not femininely horridly long it is. i don't think i will ever again grow my hair to be femininely long. i HATE trying to make my hair femininely nice when it is long (there is no other way, unless it's shaggy long hair that looks like a bush) and SOMETIMES i don't see why people take the trouble to do that, when EVERYONE seems to have feminine long hair already! isn't short hair better? doesn't it feel more free and light and ...SHORT?!
speaking of sundays, the papers again were hilarious!!!!! there was this old man, who has this rare disease where his brain deteriorates (as he is old) and thus picks random images from his mind, presenting it to his eyes as hallucinations! he has seen a ghost, dogs, kids taking his things and many more. he is quite off his rocker, as he says, 'now, i am excited to see things' as he eagerly awaits his next vision, day by day, by day.
i hope that by the end of the holiday i will feel FILLED. i just want to be alone on the plane, completely without my family. i want to be ALONE in space with the movies, shows, games, blue seats, ice cold water in plastic cups, windows, and people i don't know. i have two more days to perfect the santa wishlist and then burn it/throw it. PEACE, LOVE, AND MUCH, MUCH HOPE, NXJ.
moled at 12/12/2004 04:00:00 AM
