Friday, November 26, 2004
I FOUND THIS AT SMELLOFLOVE.BLOGSPOT.COM. BY 'WANDERLUSTE'.
Tuesday, June 26, 2001
08 October 2000- THE SMELL OF LOVE
There is a smell to love. There is a scent we follow that takes us to our desires. There is a scent that we remember our beloved by.
Some days desire smells like the sun on freshly laundered sheets. Smells like oaky spicy cigar smoke lingering on skin. Smells like Amaretto swirling in thick black coffee. Smells like cigarette smoke trailing heaving bodies. Smells like gin on my breath. Smells like the sea in my hair by the beach. Smells like warm clean skin. Smells like you on my bed.
But perhaps the first whiff of desire is always scentless. The silent scent of trouble that seeps into our being, connecting three integral powerhouses–mind, heart and guts.
I am a hound with a nose for trouble.
Against my conscious decision, the scent of trouble finds its way to me. Lingers in my mind, whets my tongue with its invisible taste, drawing my demons out. It says to me – come taste me, taste me. Open up, suck me in, let me flow in your blood. It makes me hungry, this silent scent. I can feel my guts tightening, churning. My heart palpitating, beating, about to shoot out of my mouth. My eyes glaze over – I can’t seem to see clearly anymore, but I can hear the voice of desire calling at my door. Open up, open up – let me in. Suck me in, succumb to me.
I do not resist.
I wait. I wait beneath a shroud of tense skin, blood vessels threaten to burst through. I wait without intention of resisting. Finally, when my guts make their final tightening coil around my heart – I open my mouth and feed. I open my mouth and let the delicious warm scent of trouble slide in. I savour the taste of trouble as it gushes helter skelter into the cavity of my heart.
If it smells like sin, it tastes like sin. Often, it feels like sin and hurts like shit.
posted by wanderluste
It is the only post at the site!
STAYING HOME TOO MUCH HAS EXTREMELY DETRIMENTAL EFFECTS
i watched mammamia last night and sat next to an old round fat tubby french man who looked like a bulldog and for some reason we laughed at almost all the same bits, mainly the sexual bits, and sniggered at the cheesy bits and cheered at the end of the really sexual bit. that is the thing with sitting with strangers. i suppose i seemed like a rather moronic obsessive whistler ('tell him') to him.
i have been home for 2 days. today i did some obsessive things, like scold cousin and sister again. i painted 'fly me to the moon', peace and 'summer of love' and golden and white daisy on my walls and 'toilette' outside toilet and played minesweeper for one hour trying to win, I COULD NOT. and then i told my father that food is such an insignificant topic to discuss. i ate chewing gum till my stomach was churning rubber juice, and watched bob saget on america's funniest home videos while having breakfast and read in obsessive spurts. for the past two days, i feel quite unalive. and i keep dreaming! i mean, i keep experiencing dreams! (we dream every night, it is whether you experience it/remember the experience) please, let me have a lovely experience tonight on this rainy night! let me dream of myself prancing in the rain, with or without others. in raincoats or no raincoats. maybe happily naked. then we proceed for hot chocolate and more rain frollicking. it is WET WET WET outside. i watched michael just now, and i adore the unknown little film. michael is an archangel, with plush white feathery wings, he is on earth and all women find themselves attracted to him. he put a block on the female lead so she wouldn't fall for him. it was his 'last blast', his final time on earth (they have limited times) and he kept saying how he would miss everything. he lay on the grass and said, "I am completely happy." he invented lines, pies and marriage, and wrote psalm 85. michael the archangel who battles lucifer.
have a jolly good holiday season.
moled at 11/26/2004 07:31:00 AM
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Another day! And I am totally free to decide what to do again. I keep finding that fascinating, even very slightly at a loss. Today will be an inevitable day home with beloved siblings and cousin. Last night desiree and i did naming game again. the first time round i was Lolita Titsmore (and that was before i really heard of Lolita the book), she was mowba wanaba and Lynn was Jessica Wabbit Honeysuckle Bollocks. Anyway this time desiree is natalie black berrymint and i am dolores pixie mactwink. when i grow up i will decide on my favourite name and add it to my legal name, having one name your whole life is boring. it is not being unfaithful or disrespectful to the family name or betraying your real name, it is just having new exciting identities. lolita titsmore sounds tarty, mary smith sounds magical and 60s, dolores pixie mactwink sounds mischievous and christmassy. everyone needs new identities once in a while!!!!!!!
anyhow i wonder if when my parents were young, they ever thought that when they grow old, they want to retain their youthful idealism and delusions. being an adult at heart is probably one of the worst things to happen to anyone. being a teenager at heart is the best, then you can live in dreams and delusion forever, which is the way to go, i think, as long as there is some practicality and ability to see what reality is. as carol suggests, we should all write letters to our old selves, in case we forget what we were like as stupid idealistic beings and never did all we wanted to do. which reminds me to write my will soon.
i will my body to stop having dreams for the next 3 nights. i have been having dreams almost every night, driving me mad. last last night i had a very stressful dream about public performance, tensions running high, something about costume and makeup and venue. last night i had a dream about an eating and cooking competition. i ate a lot and won a lot. when it was someone else's turn, she had to eat fried rice, eat fried rice in soup and make and drink milo and horlicks. tan kheng hua was hosting the show and she spoke very slowly because she kept pausing to drink milk. we never started because i woke up to the sounds of my cousin, sister and brother playing playstation and computer games, as everyday in their decadent lives. this dream probably has no symbolism and is just a random picking of thoughts by my brain. it is one of the worst dreams i have ever had!!!!! meaningless and irritating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i will my brother to put vjc as his first choice, though what irks me is that my parents secretly think that studying science is more superior than studying arts.
last night i very delightfully told shaun all about gilmore girls. oh, gilmore girls! they talk extremely fast and the jokes just come and go quickly, sharply, acutely. gilmore girls, is like a family. i feel like the people in gilmor girls exist. i wonder how anyone can watch gilmore girls and dislike it. precisely because it is heartwarming AND cynical AND knowing of the cynical that both warmth-seeking fools and cynical goons will love it! oh, luke and lorelai! oh, lane the drummer! Korean girl restricted by her Korean mother, excited and small, and she lives in their town and she is Rory's best friend.
Lane (calling Rory's home): I have found my calling.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Lane: I'm talking about my future, my past, my destiny, my thing. I'm talking about the number one thing on my cosmic to-do-list.
Rory: Which is?
Lane: I'm going to be a drummer!
Rory: You're kidding.
Lane: I went into that new music store today, I don't know why I went in, I just had to. Something told me, Lane Kim, there's something inside that you have to see. And there it was. It was red and shiny and I'm so excited I can't breathe.
Just wondering, what other ways can people propose besides 'Will you marry me?' though there is nothing wrong with that, it sounds nice too. What about 'Do you want to organise a wedding together?' Or, 'Do you want to legally be able to have lots of sex and babies?' ('lots of sex and babies' from love actually) 'Do you want to be my wife?' 'Can I be your husband?' 'Can I be your husband's wife's husband?' Oh, that is stupid. I do not want a diamond ring as a wedding ring, for sure!
Oh, have a jolly good day applying fake freckles on your faces! Or digging your baby cousin's ear! Or painting your nails another colour! Or going to the airport for a holiday! Or taking 5 injections for YEP! Or lounging around with friends in jeans! OR, WATCHING TV AND MORE TV. LOVE good tv.
moled at 11/24/2004 07:11:00 PM
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
I had a most thrilling day with carol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! desmond, couple, andy, aloysius, shrimp, piggy, sebastian, sheikh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think i liked andy and sebastian and piggy the best. piggy smiled at a baby. piggy, aloysius and shrimp are stupid, innocent kids (we knew from the start), who made me walk so briskly i wanted to vomit. desmond was intriguing and assumptiously japanese anime boy who was attracted to us because he kept looking at us. sebastian had a nice butt at first glance, but it then looked saggy and he was highly close to getting a wedgy. he walked leisurely, in a jolly manner. today is one of the best days of my life. later we met rohana and shaun to discover sebastian and we ate at the ex-convict restaurant, all psychic yellow and manic orange, and had a chat with little steven who could only serve a cup of water at the time (I don't know why), and rashez came along.
Please, friends. so far these are the people who have agreed to go for the beatELS 60s carnival this saturday: esmonde, yuhui, conan, shaun, carol, desiree. SHE LOVES YOU, YEAH YEAH YEAH.
a very bewitching song that made me scream:
I know something about love
You've gotta want it bad
If that guy's got into your blood
Go out and get him
If you want him to be
The very part of you
Makes you want to breathe
Here's the thing to do
CHORUS
Tell him that you're not never gonna leave him
Tell him that you're always gonna love him
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now
I know something about love, you gotta show it and
Make him see the moon up above
Reach out and get himIf you want him
Makes your heart sing out
If you want him to only think of you
CHORUS
Ever since the world began, it's been that way for man
And women were created to make love their destiny
Then why should true love be so complicated? Oh yeah!
I know something about love
You gotta take his hand
Show him what the world is made of
One kiss will prove it
If you want him to be always by your side
Take his hand tonight, swallow your foolish pride
CHORUS
Oh, you hafta go now
(Tell him that you're never gonna leave him) oh, yeah
(Tell him that you're always gonna love him) yeah
(Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now)
Don't you let him go, now
(Tell him that you're never gonna leave him) oh, yeah
(Tell him that you're always gonna love him) yeah
(Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now)
FADE
Just take his hand in yours and tell him
It is sang by THE EXCITERS, witch genies from the sixties that i imagine wore pink turbans and sequins all over their bodies, singing with arms outstretched, false eyelashes and evil pink lips, with eyes twitching and winking. this song is from the soundtrack of 'my best friend's wedding', possibly the best romantic comedy in the world. the song has the glockenspiel twinkling and the snare drum rolling. magical nights.
my nails are now emerald green, it is supposed to look magical and deep, but it has turned out demonish, and not thick enough. only rohana likes it, everyone around me says it is absolutely horrible. this colour is not uplifting enough but it is ODD. i like queer. the royal tenenbaums, margot, who does not wear a bra, wears an odd-collared blue and white striped dress, has a missing third finger, smokes in the bathtub, wears thick eyeliner and no other makeup and has an orange clip in her straight brown hair. she also kisses her brother, as she was an adopted child.
wrap yourself in warmth-printed on recycled paper.
moled at 11/23/2004 04:44:00 AM
