Friday, November 05, 2004
I'm in HEAVEN
divine divine flutter flutter whistle. I just swam. What a lovely Saturday morning. I feel as if i have had an adventure and the day isn't even halfway through yet. After breakfast I went to swim alone (I enjoy doing things alone more and more these days, besides shopping. it makes meeting friends all the more fun and not boring, and being alone is an entirely different, good feeling) in black while my sister and cousin had their swimming lessons with the man who was once my swimming teacher. He wore a cap the whole time, only got his hair wet when he wanted to encourage my crying sister to get in the deep end. and it was so odd that everything I know from swimming was taught by him, tips and how to place my fingers and everything and there he was, a few metres away, perhaps quite unaware of the oddity of it all.
The clouds were lovely. Fiery, some cotton candy, little patches sprawled all over the sky at one point, and sun was usually behind a huge fiery cloud, and through holes in the cloud the strong sunlight that came through was electrifyingly golden and green. I lay there looking at the clouds enclosed in the buildings (brown though it is castle green) and i could have lay there the entire day. it was the first time i stared hard at the clouds and saw them move and kiss and merge. And the water was the most delicious I have ever seen it, totally clear and transparent and light turquoise, and i could see my own legs and the tiles all the way. And the loveliest fluttering shadows on the bottom of the pool, golden shadows cast by the sun.
at first when i jumped in (i have to jump in), it was cold and when you start swimming you ar very aware of your body movements, but then it slowly became effortless, like i was living in water and didn't need to think to move forward or back. swimming when the sun is not shining over the pool (it alternated at the start because the clouds kept moving), is a very deluding thing. the water is rather murky and i felt like a dumb unthinking fish.
the people there! there were these 2 little girls, having swum together a bit, they arrived next to me, both panting, one with a mustard swimsuit on her plump body, the other wearing a pink swimming cap. mustard said: (pant) you want to play now? (pant). pink said: (pant) (laugh while panting) okay. (smile) and this very lanky tan middle aged man was teaching these kids, he kept saying 'boy' and seemed very patient and a good coach. there were palm trees all around the sides of the pool and it was just divine! i swam 20 laps, relaxing and breathing. and i thought, 'I'm in HEAVEN'.
its amazing how we have control over our skin colour! simple logic too, the longer you stay in the sun, the darker and more golden you get. so i did, since the sun was immensely strong. i read lord of the flies, about the boys on the island with peacock water, and a group of teenagers were teaching one girl among them how to swim, in chinese. very odd. then an old caucasian man came to the seat nearby. he was probably the old man whom i once saw when i walked past the pool months ago, lounging, reading a book and he got aroused while reading the book. HA!!!!! anyway i could smell the LUSH smell of his dirty mustard sunblock a few metres away, lovely wafting smell. Now, i am home, and i am red and happy.
moled at 11/05/2004 10:14:00 PM
Madame C.J. Walker's Wonderful Hair Grower!
Ah, today as i used the drumset i realised excitedly (odd) that to be good drummer takes a LOT of practise and time!!!! and i am delighted with this new obsession.
i just watched a tv show on arts central on the origins and evolution of makeup and how revlon and elizabeth emerged and had very fierce rivalry with 'fire and ice' and how women wore makeup as it is psychological, even while doing housework at home they used it to give themselves an identity and lipstick became so essential even if men didnt like kissing women with lipstick, it became important for women to spice themselves up as the men's sex treats. it was absolutely intriguing. at one point a woman with blonde curls and in a conservative dress pulled up her dress and took out a powder pad from her stocking, powdered her face and replaced it! i also saw years ago which still fascinates me today, that in the past women were so concerned with fashion that some went as far as to use black liners to draw lines down the backs of their legs to make it seem faintly as if they were wearing stockings even if they could not afford stockings. what makes it even better is that all this is usually in black and white and with these wide-eyed women with eyeliner and curled eyelashes and curls all over. if my hippy ds fails, i will do a ds on this!
swim swim swim swim. i am toying with the idea that desiree gave me, of lazing in the pool all day, it is therapeutic, and i will not come out unless i have to pee or eat and i can lie in sparkling diamonds dreaming the day away, emerging as a fabulous and beautiful prune. my father owns a turquoise shirt!
PEACOCK WATER
moled at 11/05/2004 07:43:00 AM
Thursday, November 04, 2004
RED RED RED
We really must occupy our lives with activities that take place in the great outdooors and which are immensely fun and cost little money. shopping is probably the opposite of that. shopping obviously is immensely fun sometimes, but sometimes it makes me feel empty and annoyed that i have spent a day on looking for...things and spent so money earned by people who slogged their way through work and still wait for my call to pick me up from the mrt station. twisted modern life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
actually! i think shopping is most fun during the holiday season! buying presents and imagining the perfect present for everyone while gushing over how lovely christmas is and listening to christmas music playing in stupid departmental stores like takashimaya is actually absolutely splendid! that day lynn, desiree and i went to zara and tried on knitwear, sweaters and it felt like winter wonderland. and yesterday i bought a blood red, the truest, purest, deepest (though not dark), love-ly red sweater, cosy and christmassy. and the prospect of having about 5 weeks before my plane ride, 5 weeks to entirely live the way i want is amazing. except that i am in singapore, i can do just about anything i want to do! incredulous! i can deliberately alter my sleep cycle such that i am awake at night and asleep in the day. oh, not that i'd do that. i could become a...swimming expert, french expert, drumming expert in 5 weeks! hippy expert armed with hippy dramatic sequence too, hopefully.
after carol told me her ultimate obsession, i realised what mine was. it has been a nagging thought (MR BEAN) tucked away in hypothalamus (or medula oblongata o forebrain or hindbrain) and it is irking to know it! the internet makes people's lives full of secrets. firstly, using the internet most likel means having accounts in PLACES (wow, sites can be called places), and this means passwords which is a secret people keep, unconsciously using it everyday without much thought and when someone mentions the word in daily conversation, it will make the person's heart suddenly jump, as if al the blood was suddenly forcefully pumped into the heart, an odd, internal, private phenomenon. next, the internet means people can asses any site they want and promptly destroy any information that they visited the site! well, porn mostly. next, blogs are obviously things that hold secrets. a blog is like carefully selected thoughts from a person's brain and visiting a blog is like visiting an open-for-viewing section on the tour of a person's purple juicy brain. (i'm thinking of magic school bus: human body, here) knowing the address of a person's blog gives you a sort of key. our lives are full of secrets, HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IIIIIII feel full of secrets, my own and others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OBVIOUSLY!
moled at 11/04/2004 06:19:00 PM
Sunday, October 31, 2004
I suddenly feel as if my life is struck with many secrets. secrets to withhold from the everyone no matter what, a few things i dont even feel like writing in my diary, nice secret things to keep to myself, secrets others have told me, secrets among the tsd community (inevitable in social circles)! i love secrets. i hope someday a movie will be made about secrets the way a movie is made about love (loveactually). about spies, and secrets among women, how men who arent keen social creatures have to also keep secrets, family secrets, love secrets. secrets are thrilling.
i just sms-ed mrs liew about mock oral presentation tomorrow, and when the discussion was over i told her to 'have a lovely sunday night!' to which she replied, 'not much of it left!' and i typed back: 'THE NIGHT IS YOUNG! Goodbye!' and she replied, 'Bai'. I do feel quite odd and full of odd brass screws in my neck right now. this is because i did not sleep last night at the chalet, except for about 30 minutes during along came polly. we sat outside the chalet, surrounded by long, dark roads in an odd corner (how odd that the chalet is at an odd corner of singapore, quiet and formiddable, and it is supposed to be a place where people celebrate and have fun), with a forest there too and people walking in and out of it, and talked about ghost stories (AS USUAL.) and got mighty scared and went in for movies and drumming and me teaching shaun and desiree how to use the drumsticks and forrest gump and bridget jones and changi village and trees and whistling and not being able to sleep and drumming and daylight and breakfast and maggi mee. what struck me the most was the absurdity of our situation. a bunch of us, young human beings, being in a remote corner of the world, forest in the backyard, insect noises there, sitting in this plain old house having maggi mee for breakfast, listening to 'something about you' by five for fighting and just staring into space. i thought it was a lovely morning.
I do love a romp, a true gay jolly romp, unfortunately rare! a romp most probably cannot be planned out, and has nothing to do with courage, and is usually a pleasant surprise. yesterday at the chalet i realised how much i really want to not really work and backpack! i just want a huge turtle shell bag on my back, all my clothes and possessions with me in that horrid stinky gargantuan sack, with good walking shoes, enough money and someone to travel with! we'd get to take aeroplanes all the time. i won't even mind if it's garuda. we'd save our money for special days to take rollercoaster rides, which are quite expensive. oh, i can't wait.
life always hangs in the balance at night. i am happiest dreaming.
moled at 10/31/2004 04:52:00 AM
