Vengeance Is Mine Inc.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

JETS

i cant wait to go swimming this friday. maybe i will use my bank money to buy a swimming float, and a waterproof camera, and a waterproof discman, for the ultimate experience. i cant wait to jump into the pool!!!!! i just wish everyone around me were more...should i say, open about swimming, it seems like i'm the one of the few offering to swim, i only wish people would say, 'wanna go swimming?' as casually as 'wanna go take the bus home now?'

something about everything is making me very negative and odd and in a bad mood these days. depressed, actually. and i hate being depressed. it's quite like when you think of something happy your mind will automatically jump to the negative or sad side of that happy thing, thus causing you never able to be happy. or, i get very irritated when people touch me when they want to ask me something highly lacking in intellect. like when my auntie asks me a silly question and starts poking me with her long nails, i say, 'STOP IT!!!!' and then she and my granny launch into a discussion about how rude i am and how i'll never get married, all the while maintaining a smile looking at me, and then my auntie goes, 'xi jie, you need to stop being to bad-tempered and impatient' and i say, 'where got!!!!' and she says, 'there.' very frustrating and devasting for the already unhealthy struggling teenage mind, not meaning to conform to a youth trend whereby people express their depression and dullness so readily, but i really am rather depressed these days, which ive never been much of before, ever.

all this just means i need more survivor, american idol, spongebob, movies, love actually (which i am dying to buy the vcd and watch with friends) and friends. oh, did i forget family! -twittery laugh- who can forget them, the twits they are. -smile- what i do not need is suicide or thoughts of it, which are beginning to fade away and anyway i knew i wasnt going to kill myself anytime soon, hopefully not ever. it's just that it's ever so delightful imagining my own funeral, i cant help but think of it.

school isnt fun enough, and fencing might be set up!!!!!!!!!! that doesnt seem to link very well, but anyway, yeeheeheee! i might quit band for fencing and get a fufilling cca life soon! for some reason, though this band doesnt do a lot of technical things that percussionists will find boring while waiting for it to be over, and instead we almost jump into songs and play and play, i just cant feel fufilled at all. it's just like picking up the bass drum stick, hitting it a few times, counting a few bars and putting it down.

mary smith has short hair now, and there's a 4u class reunion on wednesday, which TOTALLY makes me happy. ah, wednesday, AFTER BAND! this good friday holiday, i must watch love actually! if ever i should die anytime soon, please, for my funeral, use the photo of me inthe one us vjc percussionists took at the performance theatre backstage, in the dark, the one with the mary smith flower (oh, which i obssessively counted 6 times 'he loves me, he loves ne not' because i was so bored) or else the one we took at the swings on the last day of wearing the vjc uniform. and please play 60s rock and roll music at my funeral and robbie williams and john mayer and all the oldies and screen austin powers and have a diary burning ceremony and keep my organisers and screen all the digital photos and lovely pictures i have in my computer and have those people who want to make speeches make them and hopefully i'll be somewhere watching all this with great interest.

that day i was taking a bus to thomson plaza at 8plus pm and as i was nearing it i saw a chinese high guy and st nicks girl at a busstop near there being cuddly and maybe kissing. it's scary when u think of all your friends staying at that area, i have at least 10. i must be getting quite deranged, goodnight.

moled at 4/04/2004 07:37:00 AM

be a goldmember.
i can see into your past, madame mary.

HELLO, STRANGER! Zach Braff